I obviously don't check in here with the frequency that I used to, so I only just got caught up on the DD that I was so kindly given last month. Thank you to =XenoPhotography for the suggestion, and to ^quietchildae for the selection. I was astounded and delighted to see this older image chosen. Thank you.

I very much appreciate the thoughts and feedback that people have offered on that image, both good and bad. It is clearly not one of the "prettier" images that I've been part of creating, and it was difficult for me to look at for a long time for that reason. Many of you have expressed a similar sentiment, and I understand that. It's a shocking kind of visual, even for those of us who have spent years seeing a reflection like that in the mirror!

For a long time as a model I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to show that all different kinds of people could be pretty. But that's such a subjective standard, varying so wildly depending on the perception of the person viewing, that it's kind of an insane thing to aspire to. I think it's better to aspire to be joyful, and fulfilled, and loving and beloved, valued and kind, and all those other happy-ass things. When I was barely 18, I got a tattoo that says "Joy," so that I would have something to remind me of what I was striving for in life, what my goal was. It seemed inconceivably far away at the time. It's not, now. There's a lot more of it, now.

It's quieter than I thought.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to paint my toenails and pluck my eyebrows before I go to bed.