And it's been a good run, indeed! Yes ma'am, it has. Better than anyone could ever have predicted.
As those who have watched me for awhile have probably already figured out, I have stopped modeling. I did awhile ago, really, but was loathe to put so final a word as 'retirement' on it. However, that's what this is. The party is over, kids, and I'm taking my loot and heading home.
My experience has been an amazing one. I never thought that I would have the adventures I have had, or meet the people I have met, let alone have the amazing opportunities that have come my way. The letters I have received from some of you have touched me to the core. You have shared pieces of your innermost fears and vulnerabilities with me, and the triumphs that follow facing them. To say it has been an honor does not begin to do justice to the experience, but truly, it has been. I am humbled by all of you. Your hearts are bigger than even you know.
It's been awhile coming, this stepping back from modeling. More accurately, I've just stepped to the other side of the camera, and in finding photography have discovered who I think I was meant to be all the while. I feel like I have finally - finally - found the missing thing I spent my whole life searching for, without ever knowing what shape the hole was that I sought to fill.
(God, I sound so emo. *grin*)
Perhaps equally important, I don't feel the compulsion to speak out as stridently as I used to. There's more of a chorus, now. I look around places like deviantART, and various modeling sites, and I see more and more full figured people putting themselves out there as subjects for art. I see more and more conversations about beauty and size and acceptability and all those complex issues than I used to. There are so many more voices speaking now than there used to be. It feels like the right time to step back and let newer, fresher minds bring their thoughts and ideas and inventions to the table.
So, it's official. I'm retired. Now that that part is over, I need your feedback. In having made the decision, I'm left with some loose ends to deal with. Such as this page. Do you think it's better to leave it so people can find it and maybe find something of value here? Or is a ghost page with no one manning the ship a bad idea, and I should close it and be done with it already? (I'm inclined toward the second.)
Vote now!
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